5 weeks into off season and I’m sitting at a solid stone over my stage weight. It’s not been linear (I put on half of it in the first week) and I think like most competitors it’s something I struggle with. I can tell myself until I’m blue in the face that I need to eat to grow, but watching my abs fade away isn’t fun! I’d said all the way through prep that I wanted to reverse diet out of it and I attempted it, but honestly found it really difficult. Having dieted for 6 months, cravings were through the roof and my body just wanted carbs 24/7. There was a constant voice in my head going ‘you’re not on prep any more, you’re allowed a piece of toast if you’re hungry’ except I could physically never stop at one.... I remember one time having a rice cake while I waited for my food to cook, then finishing the pack, having two pieces of toast, some cereal, another 4 pieces of toast, more cereal, and then eating a pack of welsh cakes as well. And then eating my chicken and rice. We’ve slowly brought calories back up, but with my, err, supplementation of Nutella and pick ‘n’ mix I’ve probably been in a surplus this whole time. Naturally I’m a little bit disappointed it’s not gone to plan, but I’m still looking the leanest I ever have at this weight so we’ve definitely made some improvements in body composition. This game is a marathon not a sprint- it’s easy to look at your favourite fitness influencer on the gram and start beating yourself up that you don’t look like them, but when I look back at the changes I’ve brought in the last year, I’m excited to see the package I’m going to bring next time I hit the stage if I just carry on ticking the boxes. Obviously with all the extra food, training motivation and performance is through the roof and it’s good to finally feel stoked in the gym again- although I miss the abs, I definitely don’t miss the prep feels! Been a really busy week so sleep and recovery definitely hasn’t been as good as it could be, but still managing to push performance each session and hit a few PBs for my hip thrusts and BB rows.